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I found this recently and it resonated with me immediately!

Why?

Because it speaks to a great truth about agency…..!??

What to you think?

http://www.youtube.com/v/TucKm2kVzYg

I mean really is that all we are to the hummingbird – wet nurses  -  something to give them nourishment until they get to the ‘real’ food…..and then I go  – well – how does that relate to my life  – who else do I feed, until they get to the “real” food, who am I the real food to…….?

hm ….Lyn Strand …..thinks …….it’s better not to think….!

South African Sunset.

Thankfully, and perhaps to balance the Inner Bitch, I’ve noticed I’m a lot more willing to let people be just who they are.

I can’t change anyone – why should I think people ought to be different in order for me to be happy?  Boy, if we could change everyone at will, what a boring world it would be!

Where would our personal growth come from, if life was exactly the way we wanted it to be?

All a person can be, is who they are, and we can either appreciate them for who they are, or start a running dialogue with ourselves about all that’s wrong with them, and how they don’t please us. Much easier to relax and enjoy the other. They are on their own path, and we cannot know what that is.

Of course, I’m not saying we have to stick around if we’re totally offended, we have free will too, but we can’t expect people to change to suit us.

(Hmm…but…perhaps there is a one-act play in people having to change for each new person on the scene, and then being themselves when alone!? What would they do when there was more than one person, each having different demands? I picture them all wearing Jester hats?)

I spent a lot of time waiting, and waiting is something I’m not known for being good at, so I had to learn how to do!

One can either do nothing in that time – in which case frustration can quickly set in. Or one can be proactive about it – carrying puzzles, journals, books, being prepared for all eventualities became a key to surviving. Letting the ego go – just accepting what was – but also being aware if there are things to be noted – ie – if a person says they are going to be somewhere at a certain time, and they are consistently late – then either expect it in the future – or opt not to be around them.

And even when I had nothing material to work on – I always had a good story going on in my head!

What an amazing month this has been!

I’ve spent it all connecting with friends – three room-mates from college days, whom I hadn’t seen for 30-odd years……..we had an absolute blast!

A friend from Canada met me in  The Netherlands for a vacation – although in honesty – we never did leave Holland!

Finally, on the last day another friend from those same college days came down to London (from Scotland!), where we strolled around town after lunch on the Embankment.  In the evening went to see the musical ‘Priscilla’ – a very fitting ending to this trip! The story of a weird trip to the desert – which is what this journey has felt like at times!

The last month has left me feeling so blessed for the people in my life.

Vollendam

Arrived at Heathrow this morning and was met at the airport by some friends from bygone days…!

I’ve had an amazing day with them – driving around and getting used to Spring! Everything is bright green….yeah….!

…hard to believe I leave here in 2 days – the taxi is booked for Saturday at 3pm. This time Sunday I will be landing in England, and getting picked up by a room-mate from my college days.  It’s been so long we’ve sent pictures so we can recognize each other.

It’s a process – leaving – saying goodbye – my mind is constantly between the two worlds – my body is tense – wanting to move – having to wait – waiting!

Sad to be leaving!

Excited about the next stage, trying to plan/research the trip to The Netherlands with a slow connection.  Frustrating!

Wondering what the future holds……?!

This all reminds me of waiting to leave at the start of the trip – nervousness, excitement – not knowing what I’m going to, how it will affect me – will it affect me?  Will I cope?  And yet being so curious about it that I can’t sit still.

“Wherever you go, there you are!”…so true!

I wrote this in December before I left Canada…”I find that even though I am still here physically I am thinking ahead…body here, head not!  And when I get there – my body will will be there long before my head is…body there, head, again not!…….very strange…”…it’s a time warp sort of thing, and it’s happening again!

It’s been on my mind since I returned from Cape Town, that I’m getting ready to leave again…wondering about where I am going next,  what the future holds, both on my travels,and when I return home. Only time will tell………?!